


The Birthday Suit

by cajunquandary



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27025432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cajunquandary/pseuds/cajunquandary
Summary: Sam bought a suit to wear to a fancy restaurant for your birthday, realizing all too late that he made a grave mistake.
Relationships: Sam Winchester/ Reader, Sam Winchester/ You
Kudos: 9





	The Birthday Suit

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Shannon’s Birthday Fic Challenge. The vision of this fic backhanded me across the face when I saw the challenge, and the prompt fit perfectly. Thank you for being the hand that did the smacking, @splendidcas, and have a happy birthday!

You rolled over, hand sleepily looking for Sam but only finding cold, empty sheets. You frowned, prying your eyes open more. He must be up early again making breakfast. A grumbling Dean grunted salutations in the hallway, and you shuffled along behind him to the kitchen.

Sure enough, Sam was just finishing eggs, pancakes, and bacon. “Wow, good morning, guys. You know, it’s almost like I’m seeing double.”

You and Dean sat down at the island, sharing a quick drowsy sneer at one another. It was true, sometimes the two of you were too similar, but you were different enough where it counted.

Sam set coffee in front of you both and smiled, leaned down and kissed you. It was short and sweet, but energized you more than that warm cup in your hand ever could.

“So Dean, you know Y/N’s birthday is tomorrow…”

Dean nodded and winked.

You nudged the grumpy man and smiled, fully awake now in the anticipation. Sam had been planning a surprise for you, and both Cas and Dean were somehow in on it. Sam cleared his throat as Castiel came into the room, joining his family for breakfast. The angel was oddly chipper this morning, a big grin on his face as he walked up to you.

“What’s gotten into you, Cas? Finally spend the night with Dean?” You teased.

Dean sputtered on his coffee, slamming the cup down on the counter and glared at you. Castiel cocked his head sideways, clearly confused and missing the implication. “I sleep here yes, with all of you nearby.”

You turned and winked at Sam who was laughing, attempting to hide it behind the newspaper and failing miserably. Dean refused to look back up, frustrated and shoveling food into his mouth until he couldn’t anymore.

“I am happy because I get to go shopping today. Sam told me to take you. I have never been shopping. I wonder if there will be flowers or bees involved,” Cas pondered. “I really hope so.”

You eyed Sam, wondering just why he was sending an Angel of the Lord birthday shopping with you. You decided to keep this trip PG for Cas’s sake.

After a hot shower, you went to your closet to find an outfit for the mall, wearing only a towel. Sam came behind you, his lips tracing lightly over the side of your neck, causing goosebumps to spread rapidly across your skin. You shivered and fell back against him, eyes closed and gasping when he bit down lightly under your ear. “Do you want to know what the surprise is?” His voice was low, barely above a whisper, and struck a nerve. You shivered again, heat seeping slowly from your limbs to your core.

“Of course,” You bit your lip and turned to face him. Sam took your hand and began to sway to music only he heard.

“You are going to go buy something formal today to wear tomorrow during our night out at the restaurant we talked about, as Mr. and Mrs. Sambora. Afterwards, we will catch a show at the theatre.”

It had been one of your fantasies to spend a high class evening roleplaying as mysterious well-to-doers for some time. The idea had come to you after a difficult hunt, when, for just a day, you wanted to know what it was like to be someone else (other than an agent of sorts on a case.) Excitement rose in you, and you got all giddy. “Ooh, where are we going?”

“That is still a surprise, Mrs. Sambora,” he teased, slipping into character for a moment. “Dean and I have preparing of our own to do for this, so Cas will keep you company. Just—please mind him on the escalators, and he tends to wander.”

You laughed, inching up on your tiptoes to steal a kiss.

~

Castiel made for a pretty decent partner while shopping, when he wasn’t distracted by all of the things.

“I like this very much.” He was holding up a long, tan dress that looked almost identical to his trench coat. He smiled into the full length mirror, twirling it slightly.

“I like it too, Cas. It’s very… you.” You grinned sweetly, palming through a section of black dresses looking for your size. Honestly, having him with you had been a blessing. You’d never been one for malls, always anxious and uncomfortable in the foreign atmosphere. Castiel’s awkwardness nearly matched your own, and sharing in his innocence, you found yourself able to relax and ignore the sidelong glances from others. You took several dresses into the small room a few feet away, asking Cas to stay close and let you know how they looked when you emerged.

The first one you put on was long and heavy, the tail lightly brushing the ground as you stood on your tip toes. The back draped nearly to your rear in luxurious folds, shimmering slightly. The front dipped to just the right level, which was normally impossible to find considering your small chest. The neckline, too, was made of draped fabric, balancing the back nicely, a delicate string of pearls running across it. At the bottom of the flowy fabric, delicate tendrils of lace peeked from the attached slip underneath. You didn’t even need to wear anything under this one. I bet Mr. Sambora would like that.

Happy with you first choice, you opened the door to show Cas. Both of his hands covered his eyes as he waited for the okay.

“You can open them, Castiel,” You giggled. His hands dropped, eyes slowly lifting from the ground upwards. His tightlipped smile grew as he took you in. You grabbed your arm nervously as he stood.

“You look more beautiful than the Crab Nebula.”

“Uh… thank you?”

He lifted your chin and gazed into your eyes, his vibrant blue ones trapping you in their intensity. “Yes, and I know, I have seen it myself. I have watched it expand since creation. Sam is so lucky to have you. You outshine so many humans. Your soul exudes beauty.”

Your cheeks were on fire. You sighed, turning around to face the mirror. You liked the way the dress felt—it was definitely different from the normal hunter garb or sweatpants. You were never one to dress up, and you would never admit how amazing and empowered and normal this dress made you feel.

~

Dean adjusted the black tie Sam was pulling at. The tailor had made the adjustments so quickly, it was almost like magic. Then he grabbed Sam’s arms and held him back to get a good look. “Look at you, baby brother. You might actually pass as a millionaire. It took a lot, but you clean up nice.”

Sam pulled him into a hard bear hug, slapping his back in thanks.

“Your hair’s still a little long, though. You’re a nicely polished Chewbacca.” Sam pulled away, scoffing at Dean’s joke.

“Jerk.”

“Mr. Bitch.” Dean raised an eyebrow, stressing the Mister.

~

The next night, you met everyone by the Impala, little clicking heels drawing the attention of the men. Dean whistled as he took the new you in. Your hair was curled and gently swept into a messy side bun, loose pieces framing your face and neck.

“You keep a tight leash on her tonight, brother,” Dean turned to Sam, who was speechless. The older brother reached out to shake Sam’s hand, ever protective of his newest family member.

“You don’t have to say that twice, damn.” Sammy breathed, opening the door to Baby for you.

“Thanks, Dad.” You mocked.

As Sam closed the door behind you, Dean dangled the keys in front of him. “Ah—not a damn scratch. I’ll find you, and kill you.”

“I promise I’ll be careful, Deeaan.” He snatched the keys away.

Castiel waved with Dean as you drove away. Sam flipped the station to some classical number and reached for your hand. “Ready for our big night out, Mrs. Sambora?”

“If you are, Mr. Sambora,” You drawled in your prettiest southern accent.

Sam bit his lip, focusing then on the road.

~

The restaurant was so crowded, but the hostess led you straight back, irritating a few couples who’d been waiting. Sam had gone all the way. Your table was in the middle of the large room, which normally would’ve made you extremely uncomfortable. But tonight, you were a lady, not a hunter; it wasn’t your job to watch the exit. Sam ordered an expensive wine, then turned his attention to you.

You’d missed your dates with him. You used to go out all the time in between cases, doing everything you could think of. Your favorite memories with Sam included the times you did things you never would’ve done without him—skinny dipping in the river, dancing in freezing rain, scaling abandoned water towers, jumping a levee in an airboat after a case in Louisiana, hopping a train and riding for miles, sleeping on the roof under the blanket of stars, going to farmers markets and even the odd mud fight once and a while.

As he spoke, you hung onto his every word, secretly glad that you weren’t hiding in the shadows, that people noticed the two of you. You took another sip of soup, then looked back at him.

Was he naked? Your spoon clattered into your bowl, drawing too much attention now. You blinked hard.

No, you’re just losing your mind. His suit was still intact.

Until you blinked again.

A waiter dropped a tray of food, and women began screeching, men throwing back their chairs in offense.

“What the hell is going on? Why is everyone looking at me?” Sam began to panic. He looked down, let out a whimpering yelp and ran in the only direction he could in the fray—a pair of swinging doors that no doubt led to the kitchen.

You attempted to chase after him, but the entire kitchen staff ran hollering in surprise, nearly trampling you. When you righted yourself, you entered the exceptionally large kitchen. Checking every corner and cabinet, you reached the walk-in fridge.

There was no way. Maybe he ran out the back door? You reached for the handle anyway. Gliding in, you glanced around, finally spotting a tuft of long brown hair sticking out from in between two stacks of shelves.

Sam was lodged himself between the cold metal bars, doing the best he could in the cramped space to hold a wheel of cheese over his area. He was shaking from the cold already.

“Sammy… come out, I saw a few aprons you can wear until we get to the car, come on out. Everyone’s vacated the kitchen.”

He wiggled a little in place. “I-I c-can’t move. I’m stuck.”

The absurdity of the situation hit him first, and he began laughing almost maniacally. You joined in after, pulling your phone out to call Dean.

“Dean—Dean,” You managed to get out between hoots, “You’ll never guess what happened.”

“Oh I have a pretty good idea. Cas and I took his car into town to hustle some pool while you two were on your little date. You’re lucky that we were close and heard! Cas felt something was about to happen. The police are arriving. Where are you?”

“In the walk in. Sam is stuck.”

A few moments later, Castiel and Dean burst in. “Oh, GOD Sam. Where the Hell are your clothes?” Dean held his hand up to avoid seeing anything revealing. “And more importantly, how exactly did you manage to get stuck in there?”

“Dude, I don’t even freakin know.”

Castiel bent the bars just enough for Sam to wriggle out, the wheel of cheese still clutched in his hands. You retrieved the apron for him to better cover himself. You heard the police shouting and getting closer as you filed out of the fridge. The four of you booked it to the rear exit of the kitchen, being spotted at the last second. Sam was at the caboose and tossed the cheese wheel, knocking over the line leader of your pursuers.

Now clear of the building, you dodged a few diners and cops, Sam bounding ahead to the Impala, perky bum jiggling as he ran, the apron only covering his front. Dean was laughing almost as hard as you were, making it difficult to run.

Sam dove into Baby, you shortly behind. Dean hollered as you sped away, leaving him and Castiel by the car they’d parked next to the Impala, “NO! Not in my seat! Saaammm!!”

You turned to Sam. “Baby, are you okay?”

He just chuckled and looked at you with those big puppy eyes under his bangs. “Yeah, I’m good.” He did look absurd sitting there with his hands on the wheel in nothing but a thin black apron. And my God, it was doing things to you.

Dean drove the pimp-mobile with Cas and caught up quickly, following all the way back to the bunker.

“What the hell happened back there?” Sam was in his room changing and fussing. Dean looked at you for an answer.

“Well… we were talking. One moment he was wearing a suit, I blinked, and then he wasn’t.”

Dean put his hand to his forehead and looked down for a moment. His face shot up in recognition. “Oh.”

“Oh, what, Dean? What did you do to my boyfriend?”

“I may have pissed off the tailor.”

“How, Dean?” Even Castiel seemed to be growing impatient.

“Well, we walked in and he treated us like trash. He thought we were hobos and threatened to shoot us if we soiled his carpet.”

“So naturally you gave him a what-for.”

“Naturally. Hey, you would’ve kicked his ass, too.”

Cas stepped forward. “Well, it looks like we have a case. This was witchcraft.”

“Sorry I ruined your birthday, Y/N,” Dean looked guilty.

“Are you kidding? I won’t forget this one for sure. And don’t worry, Sammy and I still have an evening… and you owe us the Impala.” You folded your arms proudly.

Dean’s eye roll was so dramatic, he had to bend at the knees a little. You just laughed and snatched the keys back from his hands. Sam emerged then, punched his brother in the gut, then smiled.

“Guess I deserved that,” Dean said between labored breaths as he clutched his knee and stomach. “You kids have fun and stay out of trouble.”

You grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled him to the Impala before he could come back with a retort to his brother.

It was a just a few minutes to the small pond. The Impala blended in with the night, the moonlight and stars reflecting off of her polished surface. The engine was still warm as you leaned against it. Sam had you pressed up against her, one hand on your face and the other on the small of your back. He leaned out of the kiss for a moment to take in the scene.

You were still in your dress, shoes kicked off the front seat of the car. It was almost difficult to distinguish where the night sky and dark forest met the Impala or where the curves of the car started and yours ended.

“You are so beautiful,” Sam breathed against you, his head resting on yours as you felt the tension in him growing.

You pushed him off and he looked at you questioningly. Had he said something wrong? A sly grin spread across your lips and you took off running towards the dock. “Catch me if you can, Winchester!”

Your feet left little footprints in the mud, and you slipped out of the dress about halfway down the dock. You looked back for a moment, and Sam was struggling with a pant leg as he stumbled to you. Once free, he yelled, “C’mere!” He scooped you up in a mess of squeals and giggles and flopped backwards into the pond with you still in his arms. When you surfaced, his lips were there to meet yours, and you wrapped your legs around him. You intertwined your hands in locks and pulled lightly as you kissed harder with need.

You and the Winchesters could track the witch tomorrow. But tonight was yours and Sam’s, no more funny business. You’d enjoyed your brief outing as someone else, but you were truly happiest right here.

Under the moonlight in the lukewarm water, you had an amazing end to one of the most memorable birthdays ever.


End file.
